Posted on Wednesday 6th May, 2020

Cheers to Lockdown!

This witty poem about Covid-19 is by Jan Beaumont from the Starts at 60 Community.

Jan is in her 70s and lives in a retirement village in Auckland, New Zealand. She has lived and worked in Canada, the United States and in the United Kingdom. Jan was a legal secretary, ran a cooking school, had her own radio cooking show and wrote a newspaper column. She has spent the last 20-odd years working in the funeral industry, which she says is “an amazing job”.

I’m normally a social girl

I love to meet my mates

But lately with the virus here

We can’t go out the gates.

 

You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now

We need to stay inside

If they haven’t seen us for a while

They’ll think we’ve upped and died.

 

They’ll never know the things we did

Before we got this old

There wasn’t any Facebook

So not everything was told.

 

We may seem sweet old ladies

Who would never be uncouth

But we grew up in the 60s –

If you only knew the truth!

 

There was sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll

The pill and miniskirts

We smoked, we drank, we partied

And were quite outrageous flirts.

 

Then we settled down, got married

And turned into someone’s mum,

Somebody’s wife, then nana,

Who on earth did we become?

 

We didn’t mind the change of pace

Because our lives were full

But to bury us before we’re dead

Is like red rag to a bull!

 

So here you find me stuck inside

For 4 weeks, maybe more

I finally found myself again

Then I had to close the door!

 

It didn’t really bother me

I’d while away the hour

I’d bake for all the family

But I’ve got no bloody flour!

 

Now Netflix is just wonderful

I like a gutsy thriller

I’m swooning over Idris

Or some random sexy killer.

 

At least I’ve got a stash of booze

For when I’m being idle

There’s wine and whiskey, even gin

If I’m feeling suicidal!

 

So let’s all drink to lockdown

To recovery and health

And hope this bloody virus

Doesn’t decimate our wealth.

 

We’ll all get through the crisis

And be back to join our mates

Just hoping I’m not far too wide

To fit through the flaming gates!